Kids are sick. Baby is sick. I’m sick. Just a cold, but it’s a bad one. I’m sitting outside in the sun, escaped with the few minutes of freedom my mom came to give me. I should run upstairs and try to sleep but this is better for the soul.
I read in the last day or so on Cynthia’s site this post, and have been thinking about my hesitancy to leave my work frame of mind since. I am always unhappy about the amount of time I get to live in my creative space, always. Even when I manage to get in full days (pre-baby of course). It’s as if it’s impossible for me to get it all out. Be finished. I wonder if when (yes, I say when) I have a novel published I will feel satisfied, done, be able to step away from the creation in writing for a time and just enjoy accomplishment. I don’t think so, though. Publication is not the cure.
So here I am, sick and thinking that I really have to learn to let go of not being able to write. How much energy I waste on this, futile. I need to just appreciate the moments as they come…..and they have been coming, more than I would have thought given where I am in life. I am seeing progress, moving along. Writing is supposed to being me joy – and it does, but the stress I carry with not being able to do it enough….ridiculous!
So, this is my pact to myself. I will not waste any more time being upset that I am unable to write as much as I want. I will leave it behind, satisfied, content, and know I will enter it again soon, very soon.
How about you, do you come and go from your creative space with satisfaction?