Not much of anything.

The geese cam home today. We heard them before we saw them, calling, announcing themselves.  We watched them re-arrange their formations, joining and spliting apart.  This marks a great turning point for us  – spring!

The streets are grey, dirty snow lingers,  but the sun is shining, and it’s warmth reaches us.  Spring has arrived in the  month of March! It seems to change everyone when the days become longer and we no longer have to eat when it’s dark.

For me, it also means the arrival of the new baby is fast approaching. A spring baby!

Some of my posts lately have been all about my striving to reach certain goals with my wip prior to my due date. Well, the last two weeks have shown me that I most likely will not achieve what I had hoped. Life gets in the way sometimes, and I am getting slower. My thoughts are not as precise, my focus failing as I go internal, readying myself for a baby (and as my excitement grows and everything else begins to seem less important). I was angered by not sticking to schedule,  trying to come to terms with it, and I think I finally have, in an odd and roundabout way.

I have been working on some articles that have gone back and forth between me and the editor. When I thought I was done, a new e-mail would arrive. We need this piece of info. Here is a new contact. Can you change this quote. This morning I was sent the final versions from my editor. The articles had come a long way, and only time had provided them with the ability to do so.

I sat down to finish going through my notes on my novel. I am making a list of all that needs to be addressed (now that my scenes are added in and reorganized). And as I read through my journal taking notes I was amazed at how much thought has gone into this novel. Ideas and suggestions that I wrote to myself and no longer even remotely remembered. It was the perfect timing of events.

I was worried that by having a baby I will loose connection with this novel. That I will never become as synchronised with it as I am now. Yet, recently I have realized that most likely it will do the opposite. It will bring me closer and give me additional insight. And today I saw how even those extra months that it will take are necessary to bring it to where I want to be.

As a graduate student I knew it would take 2 years for my masters degree, and 7 for a phd if I chose (I did not). Funny, how when I am following my own path, I expect it to be faster. Patience. patience. patience. I should stick the word all over the walls.

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24 thoughts on “Not much of anything.

  1. Again, we blog on the same topic … patience. I too set unrealistic deadlines for myself and then stress when I don’t meet them. I think I need to write PATIENCE all over my walls too. Maybe tattoo it on the backs of my hands, so when I reach for the keyboard, I’ll remember that good writing takes time.

    And of course, the excitement of a new baby should take precedence! But just think what lovely ideas will come your way as you sit holding that little one.

  2. Oh I remember so well that ‘going internal’ feeling. The focus shifting, even if you’re not quite ready for it to. I think that when you have a baby, you have no other choice but to let things rest and to feel okay about that – after all, you’re having a baby! (Well, the other option is to continue to stress about it but that’s not fun for anyone and takes so much joy away from the new phase you’re entering into).
    Good luck 🙂

  3. A baby is so exciting! I didn’t even start writing until my youngest was two–he’ll be 17 in June! Enjoy it all.

    As far as this novel, really you might never be this close to it again. So do enjoy that as well. And time away from it may be the best thing for it–objectivity. Seeing it again as if it were the first time.

    So everything is good! And the geese are back : )

    1. Thanks, Cynthia. You are right, and thanks for the reminder – enjoy what I am experiencing now. I have no idea what will be in the future. It;s funny, but as soon as I sit down to work the tension dissapears. it’s when I’mnot working that it arises. And yes, spring is here really early this year. How long ago where you in QC? I remember piles of snow in March when I was a kid…not growing grass and +14 C!

    1. I was thinking about what you said, Rebecca. Maybe it has to do with all the milestones we mark in school, whereas here there are no visible achievements, only acknowledgments. If that makes sense?

  4. That’s a very interesting insight that we expect a journey to take time when it’s imposed by an external force, yet not the plans that fall more under our own control. Thanks for sharing that.

    Enjoy the slower pace and the last weeks of expecting!

  5. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t enjoy the sight of wild geese in flight. The signs of spring are everywhere. So refreshing after the winter. We’ve been so anxious to see some outward signs.

    Patience is something we all need to remind ourselves about…and often.

    This is an exciting time for you! I’m not sure how you manage to settle into your novel. Wow!

    1. Thanks, Laura! Flowers are out – in March!

      Well, novel work is slowing quite a bit, being replaced with yoga, and sleep 🙂 yet, somehow, when I look at what I’ve accomplished at the end of week I am quite pleased.

  6. I went through my novel’s notes last week and was surprised at the ideas and thoughts I’d forgotten. Re-reading the plot summaries and character descriptions helped me understand that I’ve drifted away from my original image–and not necessarily to better waters.

    *Reading* through the older parts of journal or note organizer can provide as much perspective as the initial note-taking does.

  7. I remember how impatient I was about my pregnancy, thinking how can I make this go faster. But like writing, some things are meant to develope fully.

    1. Oh, Tricia! Sometimes it seems eternall this pregnancy. Other times, I can’t believe that I am already in the home stretch. No. nothing to be done about it at all…

  8. This is a beautifully written post, Jennifer. It’s a lovely reflection of what it is like to be poised at a moment of change. I’m sure this time will provide you with inspiration in the future.

  9. Many congratulations Jennifer and I’m fascinated that these two things are combining in your life. I guess you’ll never be able to think about this novel without also thinking of the pregnancy, the baby. One day maybe they’ll get to read it!

    1. They are linked, Jen. In an enormous way. I began the novel before this pregnancy began, but all the elements are tied so closely to childbearing that I feel linked to it completely. More than to anything I have ever written before.

  10. Dear Jennifer,

    I relate to your feeling of going internal as your due date draws nigh (ah, you’re so fortunate. What I would’ve give to have another little one!) and to your revelation that the book will be done when it’s ready–that patience is critical.

    Enjoy the spring and the building anticipation ’til birth day. My son was born May 7–spring is a lovely time to have a baby.

    🙂 Ev

    1. Thanks, Ev! My daughter is April, my son July – it is great time of year! He’s taking over everything and he’s not even born yet! Funny, is it because I’m a few years older than with my first? Is it because I’m not so ignorant having had two children? I don’t know….but it’s quite amazing!

      It’s snowing today 😦

      Hope you had a great weekend!

      ps. there seem to be a ton on may babies!

  11. How old are you? (If you don’t mind my asking.)

    My son is May 7, my daughter June 30–and lol, re: tons of May babies . . I wonder if it’s just because when you’re expecting, you’re so highly tuned to noticing anyone else who is.

    It snowed here yesterday. I share your 😦 (but it’s gone now at least!)

    1. I’m 36, Ev. You might be right about noticing the May babies, but….2 of my siblings are May, among many others in my life. I seem to be surrounded by people born in October (or Libras anw) and December as well.

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