Looking back, I see that many of my posts speak of my battle with returning to writing after a stint away. I suppose this is a period in my life which is very unpredictable, (and I must admit time management has never been my forte).
During this last period of unrest, I found myself writing in my head when I should have been sleeping. I lay awake night after night, re-writing scenes, creating new ones, and even entire short stories. I had rediscovered the joy in writing. I had not even realized I had lost it.
When I began writing, I wrote with the sole purpose of writing. I had no ulterior motives. Publishing was a goal, not a purpose, and it was also not something I was scared of. And I also knew that I had to gather experience before publishing would be possible.
When did things change? I think when I came very close to finding representation for my first novel this summer, and did not. Somehow, publication became my purpose. I began blocking myself when writing – was this good enough? Would I have to rewrite and rewrite? Would this novel end up shelved? The worst part of all of this, was that I was not aware I was doing this.
Unable to sit at a computer and write, I returned to story telling (even if I was my sole audience). I had freed myself in doing so, and when I sat down to write a week ago, I was able to do so with joy again. I dissolved into my story, became my characters, and was taken. I did not worry about my prose, or if the plot followed a proper time line, or word count, or, or. I just wrote. And the thought of editing to fix all of these deviations became something I looked forward to. I loved editing my first novel. I loved seeing myself progress with each draft, and how I grew as a writer.
I have always been told that distance from one’s craft can be good, yet I had never experienced the benefits until now. Usually I return frustrated that I lost time, with a large amount of material that needs out.
Have you had to cope with writer’s block? If so, how did you manage it?